How Hipsters Date

A Hopefully Humorous Hipster Dating Advice Column

Hipsters are like pornography, difficult to define, but you know them when you see them.  I am not a hipster, but I date them.  Current boyfriend is undeniably a hipster, but he is entirely unaware of this fact. 

When it comes to romance, as you probably know, there seem to be two kinds of hipsters, those who can’t commit to admitting they are on a date, which has it’s benefits, and the picklers.  Picklers have either moved on from or don’t prefer sleeping with strangers, but instead pick someone, stay with them, and can produce from an organic CSA.
 
 How do you determine which hipster you’re dating? 

This should reveal itself fairly quickly.  If you suddenly find yourself inexplicably in a relationship, you’re with a pickler.  

Enjoy posting facebook photos of your early relationship walks through Central Park, and tweeting attending mid-relationship open houses in Williamsburg, while privately struggling with your conflicting vegan/snout-to-tail lifestyle choices.
 
Be honest with yourself, and the person you are with.  If you are prone to falling instantly, passionately in love, and that is what you live for, back away on the pre-first date date from the person who reveals a recent breakup over artisanal cocktails.

 If you are totally just looking for random hook ups, be physically and emotionally responsible – condoms and all forms of safer sex are vital – and communicate upfront that this is who you are, what you want, be consistent and extremely respectful.Dishonesty in this case is not in your particular best interest, it leads to people having feelings for one another. 

 Of course, there is that rare occasion where one accidentally makes out with a stranger in a speakeasy, and a year later finds oneself growing purple basil and tiger stripe tomatoes on their balcony in eco-chic biodegradable containers while their significant other grills a sunflower seed burger and a biodynamic cheese burger attained from a locavore butcher with an advanced degree in ethics.  Dream Hipsters, dream.


© 2011 Alice Wooster 

Alice Wooster is a Stand Up Comedian and Writer.  She produces the We Are Not Hipsters Comedy Show in Bushwick, and has performed at Stand Up New York, and hosted at The Village Lantern. 
You can catch her previously posted youtube video here:

http://hipsterdate.net/post/10482983439/how-hipsters-make-stand-up-comedy 
If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question, please follow her on twitter.com/alicewooster and send her a message. 

This is Alice’s first column with How Hipsters Date and we’re very excited about that. What did you think about the column?